New World: A Moving Experience

We were moving to Florida and it was the second day of the moving sale. Like animals sense fear, people sensed it was bargain time. A man walked over to the table marked “All Items – $10”. He picked up one item and turned it around in his hands for a moment. “How much is this?”

“Ten dollars.”

“I’ll give you five for it,” he said with the grin of a man about to get a deal.

“Sold!”

The man handed over his five dollar bill. He took a step toward the exit, turned and asked, “What is it?”

The Reasons for moving to Florida

That moving sale was in January during the hibernation season of 2014–15 in northern Wisconsin. You know, the season when all the really smart creatures go to sleep for six months. Not being one of the smart creatures, I decided to get in a fight with Ol’ Man Winter. He was being particularly annoying and I was fed up with his attitude: -30 degree temps, lots of snow, little sunshine. The Winter Severity Index–considered severe at 100–hit 190. He has been cold to me ever since, bordering on brutally frigid. As we learned from the commercial back in the 70s: It’s not a good idea to fool with Mother Nature. Wouldn’t ya know, Ol’ Man Winter is a member of her family.

I had been faithful these many years; never going on a winter vacation, dutifully shoveling snow, clearing ice, and suffering frostbite along with a whole bunch of other stuff my therapist says I need to let go of. Yet, there was no reciprocity in the relationship. Rather than a couple inches of fluffy white stuff you could play with, the Ol’ Man would send 20 inches of heavy, wet snow followed by below-zero temps which turned it all to a thick, solid glacier that would not leave my driveway until spring thaw in June. Enough was enough and I knew it was time to move on from this relationship.

My wife, Walley, and I sold almost everything we owned. As I walked through the house, I was in awe that most everything I had accumulated in life had a price tag on it. Well, almost all. The memories, friendships, and a couple growlers of Lift Bridge Pale Ale were among the precious items that would make the journey to the New World with us. We cried and laughed as we counted our booty and found that our life’s accumulation was worth $2,215. And we prayed that none of the checks bounced.

The Journey

It was -12 degrees when we pulled out of the driveway at 6am that February of 2015. Walley, two cats, and our dog were in the Saturn. I was in the Jeep and my 10-foot trailer squeaked and bumped as we crossed over the glacier and headed for our new world. The thought of a fun picnic lunch at a warm wayside rest kept us motivated. About 700 miles later, the wind and cold dashed the picnic plans and we settled for a slab of cold meatloaf pressed between a couple tubes of string cheese while sitting in the car.

We did not have cell phones and relied on walkie-talkies to communicate between our two vehicles. Otherwise we would have known about the low pressure system enveloping much of the eastern United States. It would stay under 30 degrees until we hit the Florida border. It seems Ol’ Man Winter was still a little bitter about our argument and had a hard time letting go.

Truth be known, there was a deeper motive for the move; to spend time with Walley’s mother. She also thought Ol’ Man Winter was a scourge, and being wiser than most, moved to Florida almost 30 years ago. It had been a while since they had any significant quality time together. Spending a couple of years in her world would renew the mother-daughter bond frayed by years of living so far apart. Besides, what kind of husband wouldn’t relish the chance to live near his mother-in-law?

When we informed friends of our moving plans, there was a mixed reaction. Cries of abandonment and desertion came from many. The more sophisticated said our desire for self-fulfillment was very noble but highly misdirected, and we should just take up yoga. Upon arrival in Florida, we discovered we weren’t alone in our desire for new experiences.

The reasons were legion when asking others why they made the move to Southwest Florida. Warmth and sunshine topped the list. It seems I wasn’t the only one Mr. Winter PO’d over the last few years. An interesting tidbit here. I was at a lecture a couple of weeks ago. There were more than 100 people in attendance. The speaker asked for a show of hands: “How many people here were born in Florida?” A quick count ensued and it was determined that just one person was born in Florida. “This is a land of other people,” said the presenter. I bow to and embrace, that heritage.

I know I have much to learn. Even though it’s been a few months now, I still haven’t figured out where the whitewater rivers are, why I can’t swim anywhere I want without a death wish, or where to store anything because basements don’t exist. Plus, it would be interesting, at age 56, to experience being the youngest person in most any social group again. Yes, it’s time for some new memories and to explore this vast New World filled with smiles and sunshine. Unhappiness is not a good state in which to live. We much prefer Florida.